Last night we had another group appointment and our favorite most annoying mom was there. As usual she dominated a lot of the discussion, but it was on things that were totally off topic, she was rude and interrupted people and wouldn't stop talking at the request of the nurse and the midwife. It probably wouldn't be so bad if she had interesting things to say. But after already 5 kids, her questions and contributions are puzzling.
The nurse and midwife were talking last night about all the marketing that is done to parents and how many things are completely unnecessary. Then we got to talking about it can be difficult to know when you are nursing, if your baby is getting enough to eat and ways we can tell, other than going to the pediatrician's office to weight them. Annoying Mom (AM) brought up how her kids wanted a new Wii Fit (apparently they already have one, but there is a new game for it) and she initially said no. Then she read on the back that you can now weigh your baby with Wii Fit, so she spent $20 and bought it!
Without further ado - here is Uncas's post titled:
How to weigh a baby in 31 easy steps
1. Get in car and drive to your favorite electronics or video game retailer.
2. Select Nintendo Wii and WiiFit Plus game (and balance board) and new
52 inch OLED LCD TV
3. Pay for your new items
a. Present debit card
b. Listen to sales pitch and eventually decide to open store credit card in order to save 15% on purchase
c. After filling out paper work and checking to make sure discount has been applied, listen to sales pitch for extended warrenties.
d. Eventually decide to get warrenties for items - it's for your baby after all! Add 15% back onto purchase price.
4. Have 'helpful' teen employee attempt to load an already back seat with new 52 inch television box.
5. Attempt to close back seat car door.
6. Take out TV box and fold down rear seats. Slide TV box into trunk and attempt to close trunk.
7. Ask employee for rope to tie down hood of car.
8. When employee returns with a roll of packing tape, hold back urge to strangle (it's not one of the steps).
9. Use packing tape to secure trunk.
10. Drive home.
11. Once home, peel tape from trunk and attempt to carry in giant TV box by yourself.
12. Check local weather conditions.
13. Quickly unpack TV in driveway in order to beat incoming thunderstorm.
14. Haul unpacked TV into house narrowly avoiding the downpour.
15. Give up on soaked packaging spewn across your lawn - you didn't need that TV manual anyway.
16. Curse under your breath and run into down-pour to retrieve the Wii and Fitness board from front seat of car.
17. Unpack Wii
18. Connect stand to TV and insert power cable and look for remote.
19. Make a note to order new universal remote as it's likely the new one won't work after sitting in the driveway soaked.
20. Open Wii box and extract contents
21. Connect power adapter to back of Wii
22. Connect RCA input cables to AV input of new TV
23. Plug in Wii sensor bar and position in front of TV
24. Power on TV and Wii
25. Turn TV as far as it will go, you're going to need to use the controls on the TV
26. Fiddle with the controls in order to enable the AV input for your Wii (this make take up to 30 minutes)
27. Once you have the AV input set correctly, put batteries in Wii-mote and connect balance board
28. On the Wii main menu select Wii-Fit Plus
29. Use Wii fit plus to weigh yourself, the Wii will remember this
30. Navigate to the Baby weighing selection and pick up your baby
31. Step onto balance board and the Wii will tell you your baby's weight!
2. Select Nintendo Wii and WiiFit Plus game (and balance board) and new
52 inch OLED LCD TV
3. Pay for your new items
a. Present debit card
b. Listen to sales pitch and eventually decide to open store credit card in order to save 15% on purchase
c. After filling out paper work and checking to make sure discount has been applied, listen to sales pitch for extended warrenties.
d. Eventually decide to get warrenties for items - it's for your baby after all! Add 15% back onto purchase price.
4. Have 'helpful' teen employee attempt to load an already back seat with new 52 inch television box.
5. Attempt to close back seat car door.
6. Take out TV box and fold down rear seats. Slide TV box into trunk and attempt to close trunk.
7. Ask employee for rope to tie down hood of car.
8. When employee returns with a roll of packing tape, hold back urge to strangle (it's not one of the steps).
9. Use packing tape to secure trunk.
10. Drive home.
11. Once home, peel tape from trunk and attempt to carry in giant TV box by yourself.
12. Check local weather conditions.
13. Quickly unpack TV in driveway in order to beat incoming thunderstorm.
14. Haul unpacked TV into house narrowly avoiding the downpour.
15. Give up on soaked packaging spewn across your lawn - you didn't need that TV manual anyway.
16. Curse under your breath and run into down-pour to retrieve the Wii and Fitness board from front seat of car.
17. Unpack Wii
18. Connect stand to TV and insert power cable and look for remote.
19. Make a note to order new universal remote as it's likely the new one won't work after sitting in the driveway soaked.
20. Open Wii box and extract contents
21. Connect power adapter to back of Wii
22. Connect RCA input cables to AV input of new TV
23. Plug in Wii sensor bar and position in front of TV
24. Power on TV and Wii
25. Turn TV as far as it will go, you're going to need to use the controls on the TV
26. Fiddle with the controls in order to enable the AV input for your Wii (this make take up to 30 minutes)
27. Once you have the AV input set correctly, put batteries in Wii-mote and connect balance board
28. On the Wii main menu select Wii-Fit Plus
29. Use Wii fit plus to weigh yourself, the Wii will remember this
30. Navigate to the Baby weighing selection and pick up your baby
31. Step onto balance board and the Wii will tell you your baby's weight!
1 comment:
This is almost as funny as the instructions I got with something that were obviously translated from Japanese by a person who did know really know the English language. I'll see if I can dig them up (yes, I saved them).
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